In France, What Do Frogs Eat?

FRENCH FLIES! (Ah-hahahahahahaha!) You may not believe this, but that joke was on one of the Laffy Taffy wrappers in the very package my parents sent me. Weird, huh?

The first order of business is, of course, to reply to the comments from the past 2 days. Tami Rangel, how the heck are you? Good to hear from you! I miss you, too and hope you are doing well! Grandma, you are so funny! Of all the people to post, you are the only one who is waiting to hear about Leaf and Beef! I feel like my life is one of your daily soap operas, except for the fact that I am not possessed by the devil or cheating on my husband with a man who looks like his brother but is really a murderer. I promise there is a boy update at the end of this post. Captain, I am excited about your job, you little piece of chocolate. I also enjoy coming up with ridiculous pet names for you. Shopping would be good because I'll be so skinny when I get back, I'll need a new wardrobe. The food is less than splendid, I'm already 5 pounds down. And no, I am not very tan yet...but I will be! (The tan from last weekend has faded already.) Andra, I laughed the most at your post. Thanks for the dish on US gossip, I now feel like an true American once again! Make sure to read the next paragraph, I thought of you while writing it and you will most likely appreciate what I have to say. ALSO, I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE SENDING THE INVITATION TO FRANCE! I let out a big "AWWW" after reading that and everyone looked at me like I was crazy...well, they always look at me like I am crazy, so this is really no different, but still...thanks for sending it here! I can't wait to get it! Jed, you came in a close second in the contest of funniest post. I only just realized before I published this post that you had commented. Thanks for the scoop, too. I laughed so hard just thinking of you writing it, then realizing someone else already posted. I appreciate both more than you know. (Ha, ha.) Also, what about YOUR boy situation? What the hell, you and Jeremy are together and NOBODY told ME? (small childlike scream) Bitch! And where is Jason, does he not care about me at all? Give me the REAL dish on Sheedy/Hasting/Doughan gossip. As for Leaf and Beef...well, read at the bottom. I guess you could call it "interesting." :)

I must tell you all the best news of the day: I am regular once again! No more constipation, I have already pooped 3 times today and it is only 5pm here! I realize this may be a bit inappropriate or that some may not really want to read about my bowel movements, but seriously, this is very exciting to me! This is on top of the fact that I have already consumed the entire bag of peanut M&Ms from home. Ahh, feels good to be empty again.

Side note: I have discovered that I have developed a fear of bathrooms ever since my "run-in" (or lock-in, shall we say) with the infamous unopenable (my new word) bathroom door. I find myself getting a little nervous every time I go to the restroom and have to lock the door. You never know in France and this scares me.

So, the kids are here and it is really amazing how I can do absolutely nothing for 6 days, but after an hour with 50 kids, I am completely exhausted. Last night, they arrived at 6:30pm and I was about ready to die after dinner at 8pm. Let me tell you, this is the best birth control EVER. I am not having kids until I am fully ready to handle this ridiculous responsibility - Grandma, how did you do it with six?

Most of the kids are well-behaved, but we have a few terrors, as one will have with every group. Some children speak English beautifully, while others look at me like I have just spoken to them in a foreign language. (It's a joke, you're supposed to laugh.) The kids can pick whatever names they want, so we have a few weird ones like Gohan, Urban Camo (my personal favorite), Brice de Nice (a French comedian), and Goku. Imagine these first names paired with the last names Moo, Baah, Oink, Cluck, and Ribbitt. Makes me laugh.

A few other things:

1. The counselors think I am crazy, as do the kids. I dance good and they are jealous.

2. You have to use the shift key to type a period on French keyboards. That is messed up.

3. We had a scavenger hunt today and I completely screwed it up. Nice going, huh?

4. Did I ever tell you that I hate hyphens between words? What's the point? It's either one word or two.

As for the B-O-Y situation, I have begun to fear someone here will suddenly come across my blog one of these days and start reading it. That would NOT be good. Nonetheless, it is very important to me that you all know what is going on and, thus, I will risk my own precious diginity for the good of the people. (Take this as a sign of how special you all are to me; I'm really going out on a limb here.) So, it is official. I think Beef is BORING. He really has no personality thus far; or at least none that I have seen in 5 days. I realize my opinion of him could change in the future, but for now, I would much rather makeout with Leaf. Leah and I already have bets on it, any takers? Leaf has a great bod, a nice ass, is way more attractive, has much more personality, is funnier, AND (the BEST part) is YOUNGER! My roomies know how much I LOVE younger men. I really enjoy corrupting them...and NOT necessarily in the gross way that you are all probably thinking of right now! Stop! Anyways, that is the scoop. Plus, I like the way Leaf interacts with the kids. Bottom line, he is just SO HOT. Mmmm.

Okay, I only have 15 more minutes of free time, then we have a meeting at 6:15pm followed by dinner at 7pm and the Evening Program. Tonight, we are playing Trivial Pursuit! Then, BEDTIME, my absolute favorite part of the day. I already have a backache...I have tried to plan a massage circle for 3 days in a row now! Wish me luck coordinating that with the counselors.

Happy 4th of July! Unfortunately, we DO NOT celebrate this holiday at American Village! (Seriously, what kind of "fake America" is this?)

Je vous aime ( I love you all),

Koko (I bet you're impressed that I am getting fancy with colors.)