Happy Birthday Grandpa!

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Grandpa, Happy Birthday to you!" I hope my song is as beautiful on the computer as it would be in person! Have a great "breakfast on the grill" at Mary Lou's with the family! I wish I could be there, but I send all my love from France!

Cheers because it is my day off! Bless the Lord, Hallelujah!

Okay, before we get down to the business of the past few days, I want to let you all know that I typed up this whole long post yesterday only to have the internet stop working on me. Beautiful. I was pretty pissed, so that is why I am posting today instead of yesterday. I didn't want to try again.

First of all, thanks to those who posted! Mom, thanks for the random comments about my blog; I realize I disclose some pretty random info at times. I did laugh, though, when you used the word "bomb." I love you, Mom. Jed, you friggin crack me up, you ho-bag. I can't help but bust a gut when I read your comments, excuse me, your books. Okay, and thank you for finally telling me that you and Jeremy have reunited! Good Lord, did I feel out of the gay loop! As for Jason, I have thrown him under the bus. (By the way, I tried to get that saying to spread here and...it hasn't.) He is my relative no more! Out of the will. (What will, am I kidding myself here?) Regardless, I hope he figures out his "dilemmas" - or at least what he knows to be dilemmas such as determining where he wants to put his latest finds from the Baltic cruise he went on late last month. And Jeremy, oh bless his little lazy heart (kidding, again - but he had the whole damn month off!), so glad he could be a big brother for a little while and throw some shit around with the sister's bf. Or, hopefully for his sanity, soon to be ex-bf. We will get to the Leaf and Beef dish later, I promise. Grandma, you are super funny, too. I love that you get into my little camp love life over here in France. Classic. And I honestly think that both blog writing and reading is very therapeutic! Good to hear that I am cleansing myself every day! (Note: On the flip side, I think I am addicted to blogging, though. I look forward to typing to you all everyday! And it is really terrific to keep a log of all the things I've done and places I've seen!) Andra, being funny is the really only thing Jed has going for him (just kidding, I love you Jed). Thanks for the insight about the Leaf/Beef situation; I'm so glad you see it my way. (Jed doesn't know what he's talking about.) See the update at the end of this post. And "Brangelina?" Is that your doing or the media's? Either way, good work, I love the combining of names, it's quite a hot trend. (PS - I would very possibly PAY to see you get up and dance during Ellen's show.) Sounds like all is well in Andra-land, let me know more about your mom's bf as things progress and good luck convincing Steve to get two poodles. Also, how is the wedding planning coming?

Now onto daily happenings!! So much to tell and not tons of time to do it in (it is so beautiful outside that, sorry, I really don't want to be blogging on my entire day off.) Numbering it is so much easier to type and read..also, it doesn't seem so random. Here goes:

1. Breaking news as of late Friday night (while I was typing the blog that didn't post): Leaf has a girlfriend! My disclaimer: He totally does not act like it. You all know what I mean, like, when a guy is really weird about being friends with or working with other girls because he has a girlfriend. Leaf seems to be of the single mentality. Not that I don't completely respect the four and a half years that he and Celine (his okay-looking gf) have been together, because I do, but the sexual tension is rising between us by the day! (At least, I think so!) I am serious, I can just tell you that if we had a chance, the indecencies that were assumed to go on with Beef would be even more indecent with Leaf. If possible. Ohh, it's bad. There is definitely something about this kid that makes me hot in a very good way. (Sorry for anyone - especially Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa - who did not want to hear that.) On top of being super completely HOT, Leaf also has a wicked personality. He's very laid-back and easy-going (I know, I hate hyphens, but they ARE proper English), along with really funny. I swear he always knows just the right time to chime in with a witty comment that makes everyone laugh. Also, great eyes, smile, and facial structure. Especially the jaw. I saw his body last night and was not disappointed. Very easy on the eyes. Let me tell you, it's really fun to work with someone you have a crush on, but can't have because you look forward to seeing that person during the day, but you don't care if they hear you pooping. Surely I will update you as things progress. On the same note, Beef ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME. I am serious, this dude tries to touch me (very flirtingly - if such a word exists) all the time and has the girliest laugh I have ever heard. Not only that, but he is constantly staring at me. I mean, I know I am beautiful, but COME ON! Get some respect and look away for at least 5 seconds of the day! I have officially nicknamed him (in my head only) Mr. No Personality because he always tries to talk to me and never has anything to say! Seriously, yesterday while playing Capture the Flag (more on this ditty of a game later), all he could think of to say to me was..."Oh no, Koko got caught!" I am not kidding, he yelled this about 15 times (well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but you get my point). Ugh, I can barely even look at him!

2. I finally got to see my first Pyrenees tic a few days ago...and did I mention that they are about the size of a pinhead? I am really not kidding (I wish I were, though), these little buggers (ha, no pun intended) are no bigger than some of the moles and freckles on my body. McFly had one on her stomach and she showed me before pulling it out. I am glad she did because I would have NEVER thought they were so small if I hadn't seen them first. I am destined to have Lyme disease before the end of the summer. Grandma - do you think blogging will cure this disease? See you all in ten months, I'm bound for the nearest hospital in the southwest of France.

3. These kids are nuts, but not as bad as the kids from my first session. Thank God. I just love some of these children - I am sure I will be very attached to them by the end of two weeks. There is this one boy, his American name is Chris and he is in my family. He is the sweetest thing. When we were playing Capture the Flag yesterday, he was on my team (we were the Indians - they aren't as politically correct in France) and I fell down in the middle of the game. He came over to help me up and asked me if I was okay. I just thought that was the cutest thing for a 10-year-old to do, especially since he can be a little devil with two of his friends that are here as well. All very nice kids, though. Luckily, they respond to me really well. Today, McFly informed me that they were constantly asking where I was! Aww, I feel so gosh darn special!

4. I hope there is a church tower in Seattle with bells ringing twice an hour! I rather like not having to wear a watch (even though I still do) and still knowing what time it is! Brilliant.

5. On Friday night, I learned that Niles (the Camp Director, in case you forgot) is so double-jointed (and triple-jointed in some places) it's gross. Honestly, he can do things with his fingers and toes that no human being should be able to do with their fingers and toes. It's also something that no human being should witness anyone else doing with their fingers and toes. For example, he can twist his thumb around in a circle one and a half times. Disgusting and cool at the same time.

6. I am SO OVER spiders. It is very liberating to say this. I had a really huge and gross spider crawling on the back of my arm yesterday and calmly asked Leaf to brush it off because I had an armful of balls. I pretty much rock. You should see me, I am a spider-killing machine. Bring on the bugs. (Please do not take that literally.)

7. Niles is constantly coming up with witty phrases such as "smore roasting engineers." Also, I can't figure out if he's gay or not.

8. I AM AWESOME AT SPORTS. Again, me being vain, but truthful. I have perfected my right-handed spiral from a great distance with the "American" football and am working on my left. Needless to say, my triceps are sore today. I can kick like a banshee with both feet and can catch just about anything. Also, I kicked Beef's ass in basketball - HORSE and Around the World. I rock at 21, too. Wow America, watch out when I get back. I am looking for a challenge. (Thanks, Dad, for teaching me sports at a young age.)

9. It doesn't get dark here until, like, 10:30pm. I think I already told you that, but still, it totally fascinates me! Every time I look at the clock (or hear the bells) I am amazed that it is, let's say, 9:30pm because it could very well be 5pm by the looks of it outside.

10. French people have ridiculously small cell phones. Some of these gadgets are seriously the size of a box of Tic-Tacs. The kids here don't have handy-dandy phones like that, but people in Paris do and it's cool. Another interesting fact: Apparently, it is very American to put all types of food at a meal on your plate at the same time. Europeans (or at least French people) typically only put one or two dishes on their plate at any given time. They eat what is on their plate, then they serve themselves the next course or platter. Also, French people eat with their fork in their dominant hand and their knife in their other hand at all times; this is polite. One more thing: I found out from one of the French adults here that burping in France is one of the rudest things you can do, especially at the table. This is weird because farting and blowing your nose anywhere is completely acceptable. (Urban Camo - one of my kids - blows his nose at the table all the time and it is disgusting.)

11. The funniest thing happened on Friday that I have to tell you all about! It was Discover America Day and we were playing Trivial Pursuit during the Evening Program. There are 5 different stations and to get to each station, the children must perform a silly walk to keep order while getting from place to place. The silly walks are: the Monkey Walk, the Egyptian Walk, the Swimmers Walk, the Chicken Walk, the Top Model Walk, and the Elephant Walk. Before each activity, the counselors provide a visual example for the children so they understand by action, especially if they do not fully comprehend the verbal explanation. So you can imagine what happened next - 10 grown counselors pecking around the room with their butts out and necks up squawking like chickens. It was absurd and I was laughing so hard that I almost puked. (I said this so much, it has now become a camp catch-phrase. Niles says, "Hey, Koko, I did something so funny that I almost 'puked' laughing.) Seriously, I have never laughed that hard in my entire life. It was hilarious. Tomorrow, I am playing the 'good cowboy' in the Wild West skit and I must have a Chubby Bunny competition with the 'bad cowboy' (aka McFly) over my floozy (aka Leaf). We are really gonna puke laughing this time... (PS - So far, in the skits, I have played a mugger, a turkey, a dog, and a really weak person. I am sure there will be more ridiculous things to come.)

12. We played a solid 6 games of Capture the Flag yesterday and it was super fun! I love Capture the Flag, but I almost didn't play because I hadn't had a break all day long and I was tired. At the last minute, I decided to play and I am so glad I did because it ROCKED MY WORLD.

13. The kids keep asking me what my "true" name is, so I had to come up with something without telling them what it really is. I came up with a few beauties, you will see the one I picked at the end of this post.
*Kokomachalinga (my full first name) Bubble Master
*Kokomachalinga Twinkletoes
*Kokomachalinga Snakeyes
*Kokomachalinga Mcklinsenstickle

14.This morning, I woke up around 10:30. It was beautiful. I ate some Trix (thanks Mom and Dad) and went on a little hike to the next village. Somehow, the whole walk seemed movie-like. It was just me, my backpack, and a little music on the MP3 player. I felt like such an explorer with my camera and a huge bottle of water. I saw tons of Jesuses (there are Jesuses on crosses at every fork in the road here!) and lots of rose gardens (the French people take a lot of pride in their flowers - there are roses ALL OVER). Also, I came across a whole bunch of snails (they're everywhere), which is weird considering we are nowhere near the ocean. There were "surprises" for me around every corner - at one point, I was chilling on the side of the road when all of a sudden, I heard a bell and there was a sheep directly beneath me under the fence on which I had rested my bag! Ha! The scenery was (well, IS) beautiful, so romantic (especially at night here) and peaceful. Everything is so simple. I love it.

15. My sunglasses are practically glued to my head. On Friday night, I almost went to sleep with them on.

16. I love teaching ESL. Class is fantastic and I even like doing lesson plans, which may change over the course of the summer.

17. I realized I like being where the action is! Even on my day off, it is hard for me to not go to meetings and interact with the kids.

More later. Ciao for now, peeps.

Love,

Kokomachalinga McKlinsenstickle (This might take a little getting used to, but it has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?)

PS - It's Wild West Day tomorrow, so I will be roping in some steer for dinna, y'all. Yeeeeeee-haaaaaa!

PPS - Reading your comments literally keeps me smiling for days, so keep writing! :)

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